I haven't written in a few months and I'm really bored in class so I'm going to take the chance to update ya'll.
My Christmas break was spent at home and all I did was sleep, read, eat, and work out. I was blindly trying to prepare for the bike season which I'm now in the middle of.
I returned to school with a lightened class schedule (all the AP classes I took in high school are finally starting to pay off) but I still had a really hard time adjusting to classes. I found myself overrun with anxiety and worry. I went home for my mom's birthday and realized that something had to be done. The symptoms of anxiety were clear: sleeplessness, accelerated heart rate, uncontrollable emotions, etc. I got back to Boston and started seeing therapists and doctors. Finally, my mom found an herbal alternative to anti depressants, and I've been combining that with exercise, sleep, meditation, and therapy sessions for about a month now. The results are good. I won't be quitting the medication or therapy anytime soon but I'm starting to love life again and I'm very happy about it. As my dad says, its these phases in life that make you appreciate the good ones.
Spring Break was fantastic. My best friend, Sarah, and my boyfriend, Steve, came home with me. We spent the first weekend in glorious Big Bear. The snow was fresh and, on Sunday, the sky was blue. It was unbelievably pretty. Steve had to leave early to start his new job and Sarah and I continued the shenanigans. She somehow convinced me to go on a hike in Borrego desert. For those of you that don't know, Borrego is two hours from Escondido and I hate hiking. Apparently she can be very persuasive. I hate to say it but I had a really good time. The hike was more of a nature walk and we witnessed a really cool palm tree oasis in the middle of the desert. My cousin Jenny came into town later in the week, on a stop over from her year-long world tour. We met with a family friend, Maurine Hartman, in Laguna beach and spent the day eating and gulping drinks on the beach. On the Friday night, Sarah, Jenny, and I spent the night in a hotel in the Gaslamp District in downtown San Diego. For the entire night, we were surrounded by men asking to buy us drinks. Needless to say, we accepted their pleas and ended the night at 2am in a crumple heap of drunkenness. That night pretty much ended our Spring Break and I went home restored and ready to start school again.
I recently also began my first season of bike racing. I've been doing triathlons for a couple years now but have been training with a couple of bike teams for the last 8 months. Finally, bike season rolled around and I anxiously prepared to race. I met some of my best friends on two bike teams: Northeastern University Cycling Team and Green Line Velo, a race team started by Northeastern Alumni. I met some of my closest friends on these teams and have been accepted into this group of the nicest, funnest people I've ever met. I was very nervous about racing. I'd been training for several months with no idea how I'd actually perform in a race. My bike friends loved me but I knew their respect for me would increase if they could witness my ability to push myself into the pain cave.
After numerous reassuring conversations with Steve, I finally raced for the first time this past weekend. We drove the 7 hours to Philadelphia on Friday night and only got 5 hours of sleep before the race the next morning. The flow of the race schedule was greatly hampered by a serious crash early in the day. A rider jammed on her breaks (a serious no-no) on a steep downhill turn and caused a five person crash. She cracked her skull. Welcome to bike racing!
I started in the Intro category, invented for beginner riders with very little experience. It included a half hour bike handling clinic and then a coached loop through the race. Then they finally let us race. There was a group of three of us that broke away from the pack immediately and commenced a three mile sprint through winding hills and ending in a fifty yard sprint to the finish. I got second place about 3 inches behind first place. I had a blast. The week before the race, I had the flu, so my lungs were in serious pain but I had a huge smile on my face.
On Sunday was the criterium. Held in the Naval Yard in Philly, it was composed of six 90 degree turns over a 1.5 mile course. We did this loop 8 times. The race started and I soon realized that this race would be my strength. My bike handling skills were well above the other in my field and I won the race by 100 yards. I got off my bike not even sweating or breathing hard. I'm not trying to boast in any way shape or form but I am proud of my performance. I proved to myself and my teammates that I could be of significant worth to the team. Next weekend I will be moving up to the women's C category. I fully expect to hang at the back of the pack and be tired as hell. We shall see.
Other than bike racing I've been trying to get a job for my upcoming co-op, keep up my grades, get a second waitressing job to save some money for school, and find housing for September, when my lease is up.
All these things are looking positive. I've secured an internship at a construction company in Boston (Aedi Construction). This could be my dream job and I'm excited about learning from them and contributing my skills. I'll be doing an unpaid internship there for May and June and, depending on my performance in those months, will work there paid or unpaid for my 6 month co-op period. I have an interview at an irish pub and restaurant in Boston to be a waitress and the housing hunt is still going on but its looks like I may have found a roommate, finally.
Anyway, life is getting better and better as my mental state and living environment become more stable. I still miss home and my family like crazy but I'm developing a life of my own here.
Love and miss you all! Hope you're having great days.
Ash
ps. I'm in the news!! Here's an article about the bike race this weekend...I'm at the bottom of the article:
http://velonews.competitor.com/2010/03/news/penn-state-edges-home-team-upenn-for-phlyer-win_108890#ixzz0ixE4i19R
